Keep your shirt on

Wadi Rum desert, Jordan: It's hot, very hot. My nipples are hard, as I had to refresh my chest with cold water (I don't know why I'm writing this). I know the deserts, my experience at the Moroccan Sahara (at the Erg Chebbi dunes) made me a tougher man, with a beduin-like strenght. Like the lizards, I can now stand the heat. My foot developed a sort of a protective layer, which allows me to walk bare foot on the burning sand. But what is bothering me is not the extremely high temperature that I'm now facing, it's the fact that I'm wearing a t-shirt and one week from now I'll be in Barcelona. Can you imagine going shirtless to the beach with a white-like-milk chest and taned arms (like a truck driver)? I couldn't jeopardize my tanning in the middle of the summer season, when Barcelona is packed.

But please don't judge me. I was long awaiting for some party time, as my last couple of visits were to Muslim or Hindu countries, with a very conservative approach towards drinking and flirting. The beduin responsible for our tent in the desert played us last night saying "want something to drink? whisky?", we know they don't drink. Me and other 5 people had to share a big plate wtih chicken and rice at dinner, no knifes and forks, just our hands. Some tea was served, as we contemplated the stars. The beduin kept asking me for advise on a couple of conversations that he was having on facebook with some past guests (yes, he was connected, right in the middle of the desert). He wasn't particularly fluent in english, so the conversations made no sense at all, like: "girl: how are you?; beduin: welcome to the desert!"; girl: thank you!; beduin: I'm a beduin!".

Sleeping in the desert can be very relaxing, you don't hear anything, except for the french couple in the tent nearby, who were making strange noises. The girl was kind of suffocating, it must be the dry, desertic weather. Overall, I had a good night's sleep, so I was ready for our early morning desert tour. But as the sun gained power, my tanning dilema began to concern me. Should I take my shirt off? We are in a Muslim country, but does the dress clode apply to the desert? I made a big effort to protect myself from the sun by staying inside our buggy. But sometimes we had to go down and walk around, after all, we were there to visit the desert.

Wadi Rum looks just like Mars (no, I've never been there, but I've seen pictures) with red sand and weird rocks. The place became famous to the West after British officer T. E. Lawrence lived there and played a key role during the Sinai and Palestine Campaign and the Arab Revolt against Ottoman Turkish rule of 1916–18. But you know, deserts can get very boring sometimes, so for that reason, he wrote a detailed account of the period and his life, published in the book "Seven Pillars of Wisdom". If you don't fancy reading books, maybe you have watched the movie based on him, "Lawrence of Arabia".

We are now at the top of a rock that the erosion from rain (it's rare, but it happens) and wind made it look like a bridge. It doesn't look safe here, this "bridge" is prehistoric and lacks a firm base, it can collapse at any time. But I don't care anymore, I'll take my shirt off and enjoy the sun.

The events that followed my decision to take my shirt off made me rethink my attitude. Another guide arrived with a group of girls at the same place I was sun tanning and rebuked my situation. I was surprised by him with my eyes shut, almost falling asleep right there under the sun. He began to say words in Arabic quite intensily, pointing to the girls and later to the sky. At fist, I was pretty sure he was suggesting something like "would you be so kind to put your shirt back on, please respect the mesdames ", until his pupils began to dilate and his moustache got spiky, clear signs of anger. Enough said, it was time to run away.

Some weeks after, I told this story to a Moroccan in Paris and he said, surprised with my boldness, "you are crazy - and lucky!". I felt bad for the desert situation for some time, as a tourist you have to respect the country's culture, no matter where you are (in the desert, for example). Lesson learned, but you know what? At least I was perfectly tanned when I got to Barcelona.

Got hummus?

The Jewish community has been very present in my everyday life. I live in an area in São Paulo with a lot of Jewish families, I used to swim for a community club and most of my friends share this very same religion. But, although I do not follow the Torah, I've developed a special interest in this people and their religion. From them, I've also learned some valuable economic and financial lessons (no wonder they are among the richest people in Brazil), although they still haven't convinced me to get a circumcision. For the reasons above, my visit to Israel was long awaited.

It did not intimidate me that the country has a long history of conflicts (in fact, they were, at that moment, in the middle of one). First, I live in a much more dangerous place, Brazil. Second, every teenager in Israel seems ready to take down any threat in the streets and the Iron Dome, their mobile air defense system, is able to destroy about 80%, they say, of missiles sent by enemies. I do not plan to comment on the merits of the conflicts, but the point is that, in my opinion, no visit should be frustrated unless you have realistically assessed the security situation in the country.

Maybe the major security issue you may encounter in Tel Aviv is in its many clubs. I mean, they are great and, in many ways, ressemble the clubs that we have in Brazil, with good music and a stay-up-until-dawn culture. But bare in mind that, every teenager in Israel is also a trained soldier (men are required to serve in the military for 3 years and women for 2), which means they were also trained in the deadly art of Krav Magá, the most effective martial system ever invented. Therefore, I do not recommend you to use the Brazilian flirting style in Israel, they may find it too agressive.

But the truth is that, apart from having to wait for a while at the airport to be interrogated by security officials (be ready for that. Do you have a Lebanon stamp on your passport? Bring a pillow and a blanket, they will make you wait), my visit to Israel was smooth. Maybe the only issue I had was in Jerusalem, when a guy at the muslim quarter sold me a cold boureka (pastries), when it was apparently smoking hot (he produced smoke below the table with the bourekas, which gave this false impression). I asked for my money back right after noticing the scheme, he denied. But by no means I let this experience affect my inspiring visit to Jerusalem.

It is amazing everything that happened in such a small place and how important it is for the biggest religions in the world. From a walking distance, there's the Western Wall (the most sacred site for the Jewish faith), on the other side of it there's the Dome of the Rock (sacred for the Muslims) and from there you can start the "Via Dolorosa" ("Way of Sorrows"), ending at the Church of the Holy Sepulcre (the holiest place for Catholic and Orthodox Christians, the site of Jesus’ crucifixion, burial and Resurrection). The Mount of Olives, where you can visit Mary's tomb, is also from a walking distance, unless you are obese, of course (in that case, you can find plenty of taxis around the area).
 
My visit to Jerusalem was also magical in the sense that I was enamored of hummus. Like someone in love, I became obsessed for this mashed chickpeas based dip. I had it for every meal, as well as after the club or at any time of the day, as I always took some of it with me in case I had any immediate need. Like Zohan, I considered brushing my teeth with it. Actually, everything in Israel tastes unbelievable. How come a desertic place can produce some better tasting fruits than a tropical country like Brazil? Yes, I know they are pretty good at irrigation, but still.

If you are religious, spiritual or at least have any feelings, you will feel an unique energy in Israel, specially in Jerusalem, which is by itself worth the visit. It is a dream for most people to visit those sacred places, so what you will see and feel is very strong, sometimes frighteningly strong. It is very hard to describe it, so go and experience it for yourself. But if I were you I would also spare some time to visit Tel Aviv or do other special things, like tasting its amazing hummus.

Oh, its hummus S2

Too cool for school

Travelling, I found out, can teach you much more than any of the traditional schools ever could. Learn history while visiting war sites, math by splitting complex bills with your friends, new languages while trying to survive all alone and culinary by eating the real food in the streets. But far more interesting, is finding out that what was tough to be the absolute truth back at home was, in fact, a misconception. Like an Aristoteles with a backpack, I began to question everything, from the origins of my favorite dishes to the meaning of commonly used signals. Below, a few examples:

(i) Strogonoff is neither French, nor Brazilian, it's Russian: every Brazilian knows and loves this dish, but the majority thinks it was probably invented by the French, which would explain its fancy name (some people go even further and pronounce it with a very Parisian accent, like when you say the letter "u" in English, using a very particular mouth formation). Others, prefer to call the dish in a tropical fashion, adding an "i" at the end of the word, as "Strogonoffi". Actually, if you are a foreigner, a key to communicate with us Brazilians without sounding arrogant, is to add an "i" at the end of nonnative words (pronounced like "e"). You would say "Facebooki", "Laptopi", "Reeboki" and so forth. Anyway, what I found out about this popular dish, which is served on Thursdays in most restaurants in Brazil, is that it was invented in the 19th-century by the Russians. And they make a hell of a good one.

(ii) Head signals are not always interpreted the same way: in Brazil and in most countries, when you nod your head you are signaling approval and shaking, the opposite. Surprisingly, Bulgarians use the contrary. Even more surprisingly, Indians prefer to use a cool intermediary signal which could mean "yes", "no", "hell yes", "hell no", "I understand" and "maybe", which is called "head bobble". The motion usually consists of a side-to-side tilting of the head, so it is very hard to come up with a conclusion on what the person is really trying to say, which makes them very mysterious (It was very challenging figuring out whether a taxi driver in India knew the place he was taking me to, because he kept giving me the head bobble).

(iii) An island is not only a piece of land surrounded by water: we have gorgeous islands in Brazil, but one particular type of island caught my attention in India. Mukeshi Ambami, a prominent Indian businessman, built a US$2 billion, 27-floor, 4,532 square metres home in what is one of the poorest countries in the world. His piece of art in Mumbai was placed in a city with huge slums. It was named Antilia, a mythical island in the Atlantic. A proper name indeed.

"Why do Asians have narrow eyes?", "why Malaysians, Mexicans and Indians have such a high tolerance for extremely spicy food?" and "why I'm so sexy?" are profound philosofical questions I still can't answer.